Yes, it’s one of those posts again, where I’m talking about one particular person or a specific group of people who really need to learn how to act.
Or actually start over life.
I’ve always been the hospitable type ever since I was a little girl, inviting my friends over for tea parties. My mother and I are known to go out of our ways to make sure our guests are comfortable and having a good time. Unfortunately there’s always that one guest you regret having over.
When I invite you to my place, or anywhere (as long as I’m the one inviting), here are some rules I recommend you follow:
1. DO put your bag and shoes on the floor, near the door. NOT on my bed.
2. DON’T you dare read through my messages if I lend you my phone. Did I put my phone out on the table and say, “Here’s the Daily News, you should catch up!”
3. DON’T turn off my music and put on yours without asking me first. For one simple reason: The Beatles > any band. No matter WHAT you say.
4. DO keep my room the way you found it. This means if my bed was made, don’t unmake it.
5. DON’T start your sentences with “I know it’s none of my business but…” Because unless you’re Lex, Leila, Michael or my immediate family, chances are it is none of your business.
6. DON’T finish everything you find in my fridge just because I said that you can serve yourself. I’m a broke student, not your mother.
7. DON’T let me hear you talking to other people about what you saw or what you heard at my place. Just watch me.
8. DON’T eat on my bed. The bed sheets are supposed to be white, it’s meant to stay that way.
9. DO keep your hands to yourself when it comes to my clothes. Unless you’re Lex, Leila, Michael (lol) or my immediate family, mi wardrobe es no tu wardrobe.
10. DON’T tell me to speak a certain language when I’m in my own house. If you got a problem with me being bilingual, take it up with, my bilingual parents.
11. DO appreciate it when I invite you somewhere, even if you would have preferred some place else.
12. DO make yourself at home if I tell you so. This means that when you hear “Make yourself at home”, go sit down and have a drink. If I don’t say that, you can stay at the door because it usually means you weren’t expected/invited/wanted/liked since the last time you came because you’re a total jerk.
13. DON’T treat me like your indentured servant. If you need something, you can ask politely and I will be happy to get it for you.
14. DO remember the time when I told you that something you said was inappropriate. Because if I hear it again, you won’t be here again.
15. DON’T you dare call me “Sista from anotha motha”, “Kerisha *snap snap*” or “N*gga” just because I’m your only black friend. You cannot say that and get away with it just because we’re supposedly friends and safe in my apartment. (This has got to be the worst one seeing how mad I’m getting just by typing this !)
It isn’t that hard, really. Here’s a simple tip to remember all 15 rules: be the polite, respectful adult your parents thought you’d turn out to be !