I swear this post will not be as weird as it sounds. I am not part of the Illuminati, trying to get you to question your purpose in life. I’m not trying to get you to understand how you got here either.
I just know that so many of us have the same questions about our existence, about life, that nobody can seem to answer.
So I’ve made a list (you know I love lists), of all the questions I’ve ever asked myself about life.
1. Why is there traffic?
You know, when you’re in the car on your way to class or work, and you see this LONG ass line of cars in front of you. You’re just like, “WHY?!” And as far as you can see, nobody’s stopping anybody. Once you finally are able to move at a normal pace, you realize that there was nothing holding up the traffic. Is there always an elderly man driving his 2 Chevaux at the front? Maybe the driver at the front lost his glasses and really can’t see that there are hundreds of impatient creatures waiting behind him. Maybe there’s a couple at the front of the line having an argument because she didn’t like his cousin Queneesha and he’s inviting her to their wedding. Maybe there’s a family of ducks crossing the street.
Speaking of crossing the street…
2. Who invented that corny joke: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
First of all, my friend, why would the chicken cross the road? And even if it did, why are we questioning its crossing? They don’t question the fact that we cross the road. And if a chicken crosses a road, logically it’s because it wanted to get to the other side! So… how is that funny, pray tell?
3. Why do people say LOL when I’m talking to them face-to-face?
First of all, even by chat, you’re not really laughing when you’re saying LOL, everybody knows that. It’s supposed to mean laugh out loud. Why can’t people just write, “haha”? Do we even laugh like: “haha”? When I laugh, it sounds like “Krkgakahka” (C’mon be honest, I’m sure you laugh the same way). And face-to-face, is the most RIDICULOUS practice I’ve ever come across.
Saying “LOL” sounds like you’re abbreviating “lollipop” when you say it out loud. And it makes your tongue look weird.
4. Why we do we get acne?
WHY? Why can’t we just grow up into beautiful adults, by being beautiful teenagers? If you think about it, without acne, the average teenager will look its best by the age of 16/17. So why do we get acne? I’m not asking for a scientific reason you know, hormones, Vitamin C or whatever. I’m just saying… it’s as unnecessary as mosquitoes.
5. Why do people STILL insist on lying when they know that you know the truth?
I used to have a friend, with whom I spent a lot of time. We did everything together so I knew every little thing she did. When we met up with other friends, she’d begin telling the story, and start EXAGGERATING like there’s no tomorrow. And I’m just like, “Uh.. that didn’t happen.” And she’s like, “YES IT DID.” And I look at her with the raising-my-eyebrow face and she giggles and continues.
After that, I didn’t even bother to point out to her that when she set her school on fire and got married in Morrocco to a Sheik and Jay-Z was there, I was there and I know it didn’t happen. Because either way, in the end, she believed her own lies. Let the poor girl be happy.
6. Why are people so mean? And why do they hold grudges?
You may laugh, but this is a serious question I’ve asked myself for such a long time. Why are people mean? If you don’t like somebody, why go out of your way to ruin their life? Why would you be friends with somebody, get into a fight, and stay mad? I can’t stay mad for more than five minutes, especially with a friend. Why let things rot, and ruin a friendship? Sometimes I wonder, “Doesn’t that person miss me?” And why hold a grudge? What’s the POINT? How does that help you in any way?
7. Why do English teachers hate me?
I sorta know why. I’m not a smart-ass or a rude disrespectful student. I work averagely, and I happen to be in a French system, so because of bilingualness (what’s the noun for this?!) I excel in English class. The thing is, at the beginning of the year, my francophone English teacher will be like, “Omg you’re American! Make sure you correct me if I make ANY mistakes okay? And please, don’t hesitate to participate!” NEVER, EVER fall into that trap, bilingual kids. Don’t you ever correct your teacher, it’s gonna backfire on you and they’re gonna call you an arrogant smart-ass.
And then when you participate, they say you’re showing off. And when you don’t participate, they say that you’re being lazy because you already know everything. And then your classmates bug the heck out of you for you to give them the answers in English tests. And when you say no, they’re like, “You’re so mean!” and I’m like, “What would you do if I wasn’t here?” And then the teacher’s like, “You’re being antisocial!”
8. Why is that when I’m failing in Sports class, the teacher notices me. And when I (rarely) amaze myself by doing something completely awesome, the teacher is busy picking his nose or something.
So WHY?? I can’t even comment on that. I feel so unloved.
9. Why do girls do the duck face in pictures?
It’s not pretty. In fact it’s ugly. I want to slap people who do this in pictures. Especially when they’re with a group of friends, ALL doing the same ducky face.
And… 10. WHY do people like their own crap on Facebook?
Now, WHY would you like your own status, your own picture, your own COMMENT, if you just posted it? I mean you posted it, so of course you like it! Yes there are rare exceptions where you post a picture of you and a group of friends, and you like it, because it’s not just you.
I mean, I got birthday wishes on my wall. This one girl was like “HAPPY BIRTHDAY xD xD <3 !!” She likes her wallpost before I do. Then she comments, “ <3”, then likes that. Then I comment, “Thanks :)”, and she likes it, and says “You’re welcome!!! <3 xD xD Lolxxx” and likes her comment.
These people should not have Facebook. These people should not have a like button.