A friend of mine introduced me to the hilarious and charismatic LaToya Forever on Youtube. I love her for the simple reason that she is completely honest, and most of what she says applies directly to how I feel at the moment.
So I watched this one video called “How To Spot a Fake Friend“. And I immediately had somebody in my mind. I think we all do, when we watch that video.
This is not gonna be a funny post; it’s mostly going to be about how frustrated I am at the friends that I thought were real.
Here’s a list of things that a fake friend would most likely say, has said or done to me in the past.
1. “You’re not that pretty honey. You’re definitely not a model. You should set your standards MUCH lower.”
2. “Oh your boyfriend? He’s my best friend!” And the next thing you know, they start dating. The day of your second anniversary. So they have the same anniversary you had.
3. “God, you never have money. I’m so lucky my family pays for everything.”
4. “I told this really big lie to all my closest friends, and they all believed it for like two years. God, I’m such a good liar!!”
5. “You and your boyfriend should be more like me and my boyfriend”.
6. “Honey, the guy you’re dating now, used to LOVE ME. The only reason why he’s with you, is because he couldn’t get with me.”
7. Gives a 100000 excuses about why she can’t show up to your birthday party. The next day, you see pictures of her clubbing. You confront her, and she’s all like, “SO???????”
8. Tells the ONE person the secret you didn’t want that ONE person to know.
9. LIES. LIES. LIES ALL THE TIME.
10. Says she’s prettier than you. I don’t care if it’s true, NO friend should say that.
11. Hates all your close friends.
12. Fake Friend: “OMG. I HATE your friend Ashley!”
*Ashley walks in.* Fake Friend: “OMG!!! ASHLEY!! I MISSED YOU!!!!”
13. Hates the Beatles. (LOL that one’s a joke. Sorta. Anyone who hates the Beatles is a weirdo.)
14. USES YOU. For EVERYTHING. Your printer, your shower, your computer, your make-up, your phone, your money, your boyfriend, your homework, literally everything. And in return, will never help you out.
15. Flirts with every single guy you lay your eyes on.
16. Shows your boyfriend pictures of her Valentine’s Day lingerie, in front of you.
17. Will ALWAYS choose her boyfriend over you, no matter what happens, no matter how long she’s been dating him.
That’s all I can think of right now, because I really have that one person in my mind as I’m typing this. I know this seems like I’m ranting, but I think I really had to get that off my chest.
I honestly think that the ‘friends’ who behave this way will be forever lonely.
And they know it.