Lyon, city of Crazies

So I think it’s time I write up a post about the weird, rude and/or crazy people I’ve come across in Lyon, France, the city I’m currently living in.

crazy_frog

First of all, let me just say that we all know that France is the most depressed nation in the world. It’s sad, but it’s true. However, what people forgot to mention was that Lyon is full of CRAZY people. People that have COMPLETLEY lost it.

Like there’s this one time I was in the tram, this sweet old Polish man was standing there, minding his own business. All of a sudden, he yells and screams and throws his hands in the air, insulting (I assume) everyone in Polish. He looked at all of us, cursing us and pointing fingers at everyone who set eyes upon him. And then the tram stopped. And so did he. The sweet old Polish man got off the tram, as if nothing ever happened.

YESTERDAY, after a long hour of working out in the gym, I decided to join my neighbors for an afternoon snack, at Subway’s because it was a lovely day out.
This lady, in her 50’s or something, dressed in sports clothes just STOPS in front of our table outside and GLARES right at me. I was eating my sandwich you know, tranquille, minding my own business.
So she goes, “Well I’ve had a really really long day at the gym. I’ve been working out.”
I smile, not sure if I knew her or not, and say, “Yeah? So have I.”
She says, “Yeah, I do this everyday. I work out all the time. WHY ARE YOU EATING IN FRONT OF ME OH MY GOD WHAT THE **** IS YOUR ********* PROBLEM YOU’RE SUCH A ***** I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!!!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT, I ******** HATE YOUR ******** RACE. YOU DISGUST ME!!!!!”
And I just blink. And she walks off, muttering to herself. Literally, this woman screamed at me in front of everyone, for God knows what. And yes, she was crazy. She wasn’t one of those health-freak women losing it because they gained a few pounds. She was just freaking crazy.

And then in the metro one time, I was with Michael. This guy was just sitting there, smoking inside. Yes, inside the metro. And it wasn’t a cigarette, it was hash. We all know this was hash. Anyways, this guy is smoking it up, and then stares at Michael and me. And then he starts laughing at us for some reason. Then he turns to this black guy next to us, holding an ironing board he just bought. The metro suddenly stops and the black-ironing-board guy’s board almost falls to the ground. Black-ironing-board-man quickly grabs the ironing board so that it doesn’t fall. Mr. Laughs-at-Everything shouts, “OH MY GOD, you black people have GREAT reflexes! WOW, great catching skills! GOOD JOB.” And Black-ironing-board-man was like, “?????????????”

So these are just like three examples, but I’m pretty sure whoever lives or has lived in Lyon can agree with me: the people that live here are just completely CRAZY. Actually, I’ve heard stories like this, happening in all of France, especially Paris.

I mean I should’ve known this when I realized that I live about 15 minutes away from an institute for the insane.

 

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