This is my final week of exams for the semester. I’m taking a break from studying just to write this blog post because I feel like I need to. I’m not the type of
crazy person to be constantly studying, when I’ve studied already. I study when I need to, because I don’t have to study all the time. Also, there’s a word for people like that and it’s called ‘workaholic’.
The other day, I witnessed something disturbing. I was taking the tram home after a long day of exams and a blind middle aged man was sitting next to me. The tram came to a stop suddenly and a young man with a huge backpack fell on the blind man next to me. As he opened his mouth, about to apologize, he realized the man he fell on was blind. He then shut his mouth without saying a word and moved away. Basically, because the blind man couldn’t see who fell on him, the young man who did, decided it was best not to apologize.
I’d had a week full of arguments, exams, stress and rude people. I stayed sane through it all and said (mostly) nothing. In fact, I haven’t said anything for the past few months. I’ve let people trample all over me, belittle me and insult me and I’ve done nothing.
From the time I learned to talk, I was a chatterbox. My three-year old self would constantly say, “I wanna talk!” even though I had absolutely nothing to say. In class, my second grade teacher had to move my desk next to hers so I could stop talking to my classmates. Big mistake, because I ended up chatting to her. My dad would dedicate an entire morning every week to listen to me chit chat about my second grade problems.
And then I grew up. I stopped showing how I felt, I stopped speaking my mind, I stopped opening up myself to friends. I just stopped talking.
Here’s what’s interesting though. The blind man didn’t say anything either. But staying silent just keeps the anger inside of you until you blow up. And one day, that blind man is going to blow up and take his cane and wack someone on the head with it.
Or maybe that will be me. Because I’m done being a nice little wallflower.
After all, silent people scream the loudest.